wandering queer

brouillon, dans le désordre et au crayon gris

poly, sex and more : food for thought 24 janvier 2013

I’ve been reading interesting things in the last few days. Here is a (growing) sample

1. Non-primary partners tell how to treat us well

DOs and DON’Ts from a « solopoly » (who doesnt do primary relationships). Non-primary partners tell how to treat us well

and a kind of response to that :

(digression : in french, you say « to bounce on (smthg s.one says, with sthg else to say) ». i love to use this phrase and actually bounce on my seat at the same time. so please picture a sentient being bouncing from the 1st article to the 2nd.)

2. The problem with polynormativity

« The first time I came across the term “poly couple” I laughed out loud. It seemed to me the most evident of oxymorons—jumbo shrimp, friendly fire, firm estimate, poly couple. But lo and behold, it’s really taken root, and nobody seems to be blinking. »

« Here’s the thing. Rules have an inverse relationship to trust. They are intended to bind someone to someone else’s preferences. They are aimed at constraint. I will limit you, and you will limit me, and then we’ll both be safe. »

and much more : the problem with polynormativity

3. « solo »

just a note, a quote from solopoly (who wrote the 1st article):

what she means by solo : « The fact is: I am my own primary partner. I’m good at it, and I’m good with it. »

I like putting it like that 😀

on a slightly different topic:

3. What I’ve learned about sex from asexuality

« In the asexual community the word single doesn’t exist. Because single implies that if you don’t have a romantic relationship you don’t have a valid source of intimacy in your life.  A lot of “single” people have extremely valid sources of intimacy worth talking about. Instead, words like romantic and aromantic get thrown around to describe relationships. When asexual people gossip we don’t just talk about the relationships we are in, we talk about the relationship models we are in. Every asexual person ends up with this elaborate world view of how intimacy words and their relationships work. » … what I’ve learned about sex from asexuality

4. et pour les non-anglophones

des tas de choses interessantes à lire sur ce fabuleux blog


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